take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
