your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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