What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize