Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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