Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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