garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
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