How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
