Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
