South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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