Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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