Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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