I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
