he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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