My Higher Power is John Stamos
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
