That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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