My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
