are you still at the devil's house?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
