So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
