Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
