rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
