She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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