Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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