You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
