He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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