The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
