i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He keeps bees of course he's weird
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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