Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
