life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
