Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
