She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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