Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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