Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
