i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
