do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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