Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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