The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
