no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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