whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
ok first of all what the fuck
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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