so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize