i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
