I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
