I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
