It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Randomize
