please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
