so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
