I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
