There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
