Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
