i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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