I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
