He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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