Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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