update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
