Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I didn't notice because vodka
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So much Jack, so little girl.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
