hotel room ftw
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
