this beer tastes like vomit already
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
