Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
