dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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