My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
