therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
