I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
