It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize