He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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