PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize