k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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