also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Randomize
