dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
