a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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