I wish i was in the wii world.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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