Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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