I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
