I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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