She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My vagina is officially offended.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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