your parents love me but you hate me
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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