thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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