I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
